I can still remember chuckling when I saw one of the anonymous comments to a “Pastor/Leader 360” evaluation I did while in a previous ministry setting. At the time, I was part of a Doctorate of Ministry Cohort at Fuller Theological Seminary focusing on missional leadership. As part of the coursework, we were to survey our aptitude for missional leadership. Thus, the survey that went out to 45 selected individuals within the church, representative of the diversity of ages, perspectives, and experiences of our congregation.
What was that anonymous comment that made me chuckle? “He could use some humiliation.” It is quite possible that the commenter meant “Pastor Chris could use some humility,” but as I look back on that season of ministry, it is quite possible that the individual wrote what they intended… humiliation.
What’s the difference? Well, while humility can be defined as “a modest or low view of one’s own importance; humbleness,” humiliation suggests something else entirely! Humiliation is the act of humiliating someone or the state of being shamed, disgraced, belittled, or discredited. Humility is a state of being one hopes to achieve for oneself by placing other’s thoughts and opinions above theirs; humiliation is the result of external stimulus—an action taken against you, your pride or your position.
In a recent post at Patheos.com from Dr. Paul Metzger, he reflects on the need for spiritual bankruptcy that signifies Jesus’ exhortation, “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 5:3, NIV). Dr. Metzger writes,
Those who are blessed before God are those who sense their spiritual bankruptcy; they are paupers in desperate need of God to bail them out. God delights in those who sense their desperate need for God and his word (See for example Psalm 51:16-17). One of the things that God despises most is spiritual pride, which involves a smug sense of having arrived. Such spiritual pride grieves and quenches God’s Spirit’s working powerfully in our midst; it is like spiritual Kryptonite in our lives.
As I consider Jesus’ exhortation that we be “spiritual bankrupt” as the poor in spirit, I find it has very rarely applied to me. As a “doer”—a high achiever sometimes lacking in modesty—I work on my bit of God’s Kingdom with a passionate fervor as one convinced that God is awfully lucky to have me on his team! False humility can easily creep its way into the Christian leader’s heart, because most of us are really good at playing the “game” of church politics. Often, the management tactics of the world are simply adopted into church settings, but dressed up in false humility and piety that allows us to simply keep at the work of being the church without the kind of dependency on God that Jesus called “blessed!”
As long as I tried myself to be humble, I was a pretty miserable failure. I was frustrated internally as I wrestled with my own pride and my misperception of the world. I was also frustrated externally, as I didn’t see things working out how I hoped they would… Or, to be more honest, how I had convinced myself things NEEDED to work out.
If we cannot learn humility on our own, God has a way of working in our lives to bring some measure of humiliation that will require us to come face to face with our spiritual bankruptcy. It may be a loss of job or ministry position, a health condition that is unexpected and unwelcome, or a closed door slammed in our face just before we are ready to walk through it to the next big achievement in our lives. God’s purpose in allowing these humiliating circumstances in our lives is NEVER to shame us. God loves us… loves us enough to allow his one and only Son to be shamed and humiliated in our place! No… God’s purpose in all this is to give us a renewed opportunity to trust in Him, place our faith in him, and not to continue in the foolishness of working within this Kingdom as we operate in our own foolish ways.
The great thing about being poor in spirit—experiencing spiritual bankruptcy—is that once our hearts are broken and our hands empty of our own plans and designs, the Holy Spirit can flood into our hearts and God the Father can place a fresh blessing into our lives. And, on the other side of our humiliation, we can learn true humility that will enable a great depth and breadth of ministry than we could have ever realized on our own.
So, I thank that congregant that was honest enough to suggest I needed some humiliation. Perhaps they meant me ill, but God has certainly redeemed it for the good—first for me, and then for those I minister to in the Spirit.
